Hot Flushes – Get Me Out Of Here!


Sundays, a day I usually put aside for relaxing while I enjoy a leisurely breakfast dressed in my pyjamas. No rushing, just the pleasure that I can look like scary Mary for as long as I choose, providing of course I’m not caught by someone knocking on my front door. Then, I might giggle afterwards as to the surprised and sometimes shocked look by the person that stood there.  I could tell you many stories of being caught, which I have to admit are hilarious, embarrassing and downright memorable, but today we will have to stick to the subject Hot Flushes – Get Me Out of Here.

This particular Sunday I woke at 6.30am feeling on top of the world. I got up, put some washing on, enjoyed my breakfast of cooked quinoa with a little maple syrup, some goat’s milk and a dollop of Greek yoghurt, and then enthusiastically began cleaning my house. Now I know I said I put aside Sundays for relaxing, yet surprisingly the result of seeing my house clean, was very relaxing for me. I’m sure there has to be others like me out there. Finished! I paused, it smelt and looked great, now to a nurturing and cleansing shower, then dressed and ready to appreciate the rest of my day.

When you work from home it’s a breath of fresh air to go out and have a coffee or lunch somewhere, and a change of scenery can inspire the creativity and help replenish your energy.

Now looking and feeling good I decided to pop into my local shopping centre. There’s a nice little café that had scrumptious gluten free muffins and a good soy latte. The staff were always welcoming, and I could sit in a corner on a comfy chair and not feel pressured to leave. Bliss

Having parked, collected my mail on the way in and ordered my soy latte and muffin, I’d sat down to relax and write. Now half way through my muffin and enjoying my cuppa I looked up from writing and …

A rush of energy erupted through my neck and face, creating a bright cherry red, and my face felt as if it was on fire. Oh no … a burst of perspiration exploded from every pore in my body …. If only I could tear off my top!

Realising I only had a bra underneath, this was not an option. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed. I talked silently to myself, okay, I won’t drink any more hot coffee, and Maria take your time and enjoy your muffin. I took another bite, see it’s not as bad as you think. Beads of sweat trickled down my face and in-between my breasts. My skin burnt against my clothes and the chair felt hot and uncomfortable. I’d hoped that when I got up it hadn’t left a pool of water, or worse still a sweaty wet patch on my behind. I touched my forearm and it was clammy, my underarms felt soaked. I thought to myself, Oh good Maria this is just great! Okay now breathe. But breathing did not ease the heat, nor the anxious feeling rising within my chest not unlike pins and needles.

Alright, get up slowly and head for the door….. it’s okay, no one will notice you….. once outside and in some fresh air, you will be fine.

I packed up my things sadly looking at the barely drunk coffee and half eaten muffin and thought to myself, it doesn’t matter, you didn’t need it anyway. Don’t we justify beautifully.  I’m on my way through the shopping centre feeling quiet exposed and vulnerable. I stopped at a dress store to hide behind a rack of clothes as I indiscreetly blew up my face to cool myself down, my fringe moved with the rush of air. My eyes searched for a mirror to check the back of my trousers.

I started to feel a little better and glanced to my side to see this elderly lady sitting on a nearby bench smiling at me. You know with that knowing smile. I whispered, menopause, she smiled and said, “Yes I know dear, been there and done that.” All of a sudden the body now screams out, THANK YOU, someone understands, and then responds with an almighty hot flush just to confirm! My eyes quickly darted around searching for an escape. I hastily nodded with acknowledgement to the lady, and with as much dignity as I could muster, I raced towards the double doors trusting that they would open quickly and allow me to GET OUT!!

In the safety of my car, I wound down the windows, put on the air, felt the breeze on my face and laughed…. oh did I laugh. Why did I laugh so much?  Because my experience flashed in front of me like a movie, and all of a sudden it looked quiet comical.

Now some of you may be thinking, thank goodness I’m not anywhere near menopause or I’m a man and I don’t get menopause. For those females that are not there yet, your time will come. It is a rite of passage that we all flow through, and some of us easier than others. For those men shaking their heads; if you are in a relationship with a female, have a mother, sister or female friend, it might be worth your while doing a little research to gain an understanding of a woman’s hormonal changes, which can affect us and YOU in many ways.

It’s interesting the word chosen for this rite of passage – MEN O PAUSE – hmmm I wonder whether that means anything.

Later that day I was talking with an elderly male friend and, he kindly said to me,

“Maria it’s only a power surge.”

The sound of that word, power surge, saw me visualise myself with an enormous light illuminating from within. It connected me to my inner strength and my feminine power, and this time my body did not choose to respond with a sudden burst of heat. It felt empowered and I felt proud to be a woman, hot flushes and all.

Trust you have enjoyed reading my article and I look forward to your feedback.

Until next time,


Copyright © Maria Lacey

By Maria Lacey

An award-winning author of One Path, Many Lights, a spiritual and personal memoir. Maria writes about life, the adversity, learnings, musings and triumphs. A therapist, healer, performance artist and speaker Maria humorously states, “I am my greatest case study.” For more information about Maria and her work visit her website at


  1. Hi Maria your article made me smile, just the thought of all the emotions that you went through and to get to the safety of your car. I know myself when I have been somewhere and not liking it and that feeling of relief when I’m sitting in the car. My grandmother said when she finished going through menopause she went to a pale complexion, that will be something I will look forward to.


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