First Published in Sibyl Magazine March 2018
I woke this morning, and as my eyes opened, I heard my voice with such a gentle tone saying, “It’s time to move.” Every part of me felt at peace, and in my heart, I knew what that meant.
It was time to sell my home and move once again in the direction of the unknown, yet this time was very different. It was bigger so much bigger, for I was to leave the security I had created over the past seventeen years. A sanctuary I knew was safe. A place my children had grown and a place where I flourished and ran my holistic business, a place called home.
Realistically, at the age of fifty-two, it felt huge! Even though I didn’t own my home and had a mortgage, it was my only form of financial security.
There was no-one in my future to save me financially, estranged from my family, a child bought up with physical abuse and narcissism there was a reality for my sense of safety. Though I knew, I had to take this leap of faith, and with an incomplete picture, I stepped onto that path.
Within a month my home was sold, I gave away most of my possessions, jumped into my little car, and set off house sitting.
Soon after, I realised the larger picture and why my soul had guided me to experience without the busyness to distract me. It was vital for me to face and conquer my greatest fear, and that was the fear of being unsafe, vulnerable and in pain. My home was my sanctuary, and I’d created a safe and secure nest, where my pain and vulnerability could be protected! By letting everything go, I had forced myself to honestly see me and run head on and face that fear, and see it for what it was, an illusion.
It’s been four years. I’ve gained wisdom in knowing I can feel safe and secure no matter where I’m living, and now fully understand that my home is really where my heart is.
Also, I’ve discovered that I’m strong and can set clear boundaries, be flexible, tolerant and patient. I’m genuinely trusting my intuition and guidance because it has always shown me the way, history had taught me that, even when I chose to ignore it. I’ve become friends with my vulnerability and love the softness I feel being close to it.
To allow oneself to be vulnerable is a strength, but the first step takes courage.
I’m not advocating you do this; it’s quite radical. I’m sharing my truth of my soul’s journey to heal and grow, and how discomfort can breathe new life into us if we only STOP and feel into it, listen, appreciate, process and transform.
Holding onto the past sucks, moving into the present and creating from a healed state is liberating.
Do I regret my choice? Not at all, because I trust my soul loves me, and my heart knows.
Until next week,
Maria Lacey was born in Australia. She has travelled extensively overseas being led by visions, dreams and spiritual guidance.
Maria writes about life (the human and spiritual path), the adversity, learning, musings and triumphs. A successful entrepreneur with over 18 years in her own business, Maria humorously states, “I am my greatest case study.”
Maria is a qualified Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Teacher, Meditation Teacher, Healer, Channel and Speaker.
Maria is currently writing her second book about her spiritual travels overseas.
For further information about the author go to: http://www.marialacey.com.au/
Maria’s first book – https://www.amazon.com/One-Path-Many-Lights-Spiritual-ebook/dp/B00YOIOTIS