Self-worth is a theme that often arises in both personal and professional contexts, and I’ve witnessed it in many of my clients. To be honest, I’ve struggled with it myself.
My journey began as a young child, hearing the same cutting phrase over and over again: “Who do you think you are!”
Every time I came home from school with an award or praise from my teachers, that same response echoed back from my mother, as if my accomplishments were wrong, as if I didn’t deserve them. The words, full of accusation, would cut deep. The harder I tried to please, the stronger the energy of dissatisfaction became.
That young, innocent child—me—felt confused, humiliated, and misunderstood. What had I done wrong?
I loved to sing. In primary school, I was part of the school choir, often chosen for solo performances. My singing teacher even approached my mother with the opportunity for me to be sponsored in a talent show.
But instead of joy or pride, my mother’s response was anger. She came home furious, saying I had a horrible voice, followed by the familiar sting: “Who do you think you are?”
I quit the choir. I stopped singing.
It wasn’t just about the singing, of course. When I stopped singing, I silenced part of myself. I dimmed my light to fit someone else’s perception of my worth.
Whose Voice Defines Your Worth?
For so many of us, the opinions of others shape how we value ourselves. We absorb their words, their judgments, and their expectations until they become the narratives we live by. But ask yourself: Whose voice is it that truly matters?
Often, we allow others’ voices to drown out our own. We lose track of who we are, basing our self-worth on external validation or criticism. But the truth is, self-worth isn’t determined by anyone else’s opinion. It’s an inside job.
Self-worth is how we see ourselves. It’s shaped by our inner dialogue. And while it’s true that many of us have allowed the voices of others to run rampant in our minds, we can reclaim that space.
Rewriting the Narrative
So how do we begin to rewrite that internal script? How do we build strength in feeling worthy, regardless of what others might say?
Here are some steps to get started:
- Know which voice is yours.
Identify the voices in your head. Whose judgments are you listening to—yours or someone else’s? Understanding where those narratives come from is the first step in reclaiming your power. - Challenge the negative self-talk.
Whenever you hear the echo of a past judgment—“Who do you think you are?” or any other limiting belief—challenge it. Ask yourself if that’s really true, or if it’s just a story you’ve been conditioned to believe. Start talking back with compassion and truth. - Affirm your worth daily.
Create a ritual of affirming your worth. Whether through journaling, affirmations, or quiet reflection, remind yourself that you are inherently valuable, just as you are. Your worth is not contingent upon your achievements or anyone else’s approval. - Surround yourself with supportive voices.
Seek out relationships where your worth is acknowledged and celebrated. The people we surround ourselves with can either uplift us or perpetuate our doubts. Choose those who see your light. - Reconnect with your passions.
Think back to those parts of yourself you might have silenced over the years—like my singing voice. Reconnect with your passions and express yourself freely again. Doing what lights you up is a powerful reminder of your worth. - Celebrate small wins.
Each day, take a moment to recognize your efforts and accomplishments, no matter how small. Celebrate the fact that you showed up for yourself.
Beautiful soul, you are exceptional, and don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.
Trust me, I know. I’ve worked hard to heal and eradicate my mother’s voice, along with the voices of others throughout my life, so that I could finally celebrate mine.
If you need support to reclaim and acknowledge your worth, connect with me, and let’s walk this journey together. Book your 15-minute complimentary consultation and we can discuss which of my services would best support your healing journey.
Until next time, with love, Maria x
Maria Lacey 