Awareness Through Emotional Discomfort
First published in Sibyl Magazine October 2019
It wasn’t comfortable when agitation began to stir within. Growing up those around me expressed theirs unhealthily. So, for me, I’d never allowed myself to show or feel anger, for I believed it was destructive, and the thought of projecting that towards another was soul-destroying.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t helpful because the anger imploded masked by sadness because I wasn’t freely expressing myself or felt safe to do so. In the past, occasionally it would rise like a serpent and strike. There was no stopping the rage that erupted in a swirl of euphoria as it was released. It would last only seconds. I can count the number of times on one hand that occurred. Shame and guilt followed, which caused me more grief as I buried it deeper into the recesses of my being.
It’s hard when you have denied that part of yourself to face it suddenly, yet, that’s precisely what’s needed, and I logically knew that.
When we meet something head-on, we come to realise it’s not as daunting as we’d initially thought or felt.
When acknowledged the rage lying in wait tempers, and becomes a smouldering flame ready for us to sit, listen, and heal.
Anger is a healthy emotion if expressed healthily. It’s not to be denied or pushed down. It’s an emotion that’s real and wants our attention because there’s much hurt and pain underneath.
Earlier this year, I sat with a friend, and she could hear my agitation. It had been with me all day, and it wasn’t until I openly expressed it, that I felt some relief. There had been a good reason in these past weeks why I felt that way. I’d seen my dentist for a crown, and while he was drilling my upper molar, he kept leaning an instrument against my front tooth. It had been sensitive for weeks, and I was frightened he’d caused significant damage.
The agitation initially was at him, but soon realised I was angry with myself for making only one attempt to tell him, and then resigning and putting up with it. After all, he was the expert I rationalised, but this wasn’t about him; it was about me speaking up to say STOP.
Having that realisation, I took some deep breaths down into my belly to lower my energy and anchor myself. It was then I felt calmer, and less overwhelmed by the emotion smouldering inside me.
Being grounded opened me to further clarity, and I felt self-forgiveness. This experience was a valuable lesson, one I’d ignored previously, and intended NEVER to repeat. It was time for me to value my body in all its entirety, and it deserved a voice to protect it.
Anger, when understood, is the voice that so willingly chooses to be heard. Listen to it, learn from it, and face it down to see what lies underneath, but never project it towards another. Lovingly empower yourself and shine your light upon it.
Until next time with love,
Maria Lacey was born in Australia and has travelled extensively overseas being led by visions, dreams and spiritual guidance.
An award-winning author of a personal and spiritual memoir, One Path, Many Lights. Maria writes about life (the human and spiritual path), the adversity, learning, musings, and triumphs.
A successful entrepreneur with over 20 years in her own business, Maria humorously states, “I am my greatest case study.” Maria is a qualified Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Teacher, Meditation Teacher, Sound Healer, Channel, Author and Speaker.
Maria feels passionate about restoring hope into the hearts of many.
For further information about the author go to: http://www.marialacey.com.au/
Maria’s first book – https://www.amazon.com/One-Path-Many-Lights-Spiritual-ebook/dp/B00YOIOTIS