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Posts tagged ‘pain’

Awareness Through Emotional Discomfort

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First published in Sibyl Magazine October 2019

It wasn’t comfortable when agitation began to stir within. Growing up those around me expressed theirs unhealthily. So, for me, I’d never allowed myself to show or feel anger, for I believed it was destructive, and the thought of projecting that towards another was soul-destroying.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t helpful because the anger imploded masked by sadness because I wasn’t freely expressing myself or felt safe to do so. In the past, occasionally it would rise like a serpent and strike. There was no stopping the rage that erupted in a swirl of euphoria as it was released. It would last only seconds. I can count the number of times on one hand that occurred. Shame and guilt followed, which caused me more grief as I buried it deeper into the recesses of my being.

It’s hard when you have denied that part of yourself to face it suddenly, yet, that’s precisely what’s needed, and I logically knew that.

When we meet something head-on, we come to realise it’s not as daunting as we’d initially thought or felt.

When acknowledged the rage lying in wait tempers, and becomes a smouldering flame ready for us to sit, listen, and heal.

Anger is a healthy emotion if expressed healthily. It’s not to be denied or pushed down. It’s an emotion that’s real and wants our attention because there’s much hurt and pain underneath.

Earlier this year, I sat with a friend, and she could hear my agitation. It had been with me all day, and it wasn’t until I openly expressed it, that I felt some relief. There had been a good reason in these past weeks why I felt that way. I’d seen my dentist for a crown, and while he was drilling my upper molar, he kept leaning an instrument against my front tooth. It had been sensitive for weeks, and I was frightened he’d caused significant damage.

The agitation initially was at him, but soon realised I was angry with myself for making only one attempt to tell him, and then resigning and putting up with it. After all, he was the expert I rationalised, but this wasn’t about him; it was about me speaking up to say STOP.

Having that realisation, I took some deep breaths down into my belly to lower my energy and anchor myself. It was then I felt calmer, and less overwhelmed by the emotion smouldering inside me.

Being grounded opened me to further clarity, and I felt self-forgiveness. This experience was a valuable lesson, one I’d ignored previously, and intended NEVER to repeat. It was time for me to value my body in all its entirety, and it deserved a voice to protect it.

Anger, when understood, is the voice that so willingly chooses to be heard. Listen to it, learn from it, and face it down to see what lies underneath, but never project it towards another. Lovingly empower yourself and shine your light upon it.

Until next time with love,

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Maria Lacey was born in Australia and has travelled extensively overseas being led by visions, dreams and spiritual guidance.

An award-winning author of a personal and spiritual memoir, One Path, Many Lights. Maria writes about life (the human and spiritual path), the adversity, learning, musings, and triumphs.

A successful entrepreneur with over 20 years in her own business, Maria humorously states, “I am my greatest case study.” Maria is a qualified Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Teacher, Meditation Teacher, Sound Healer, Channel, Author and Speaker.

Maria feels passionate about restoring hope into the hearts of many.

For further information about the author go to: http://www.marialacey.com.au/

Maria’s first book – https://www.amazon.com/One-Path-Many-Lights-Spiritual-ebook/dp/B00YOIOTIS

The Pain in ‘Playing it Safe’

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Safe.. hmm ‘playing it safe’ a medley of words put together to enhance one’s own sense of safety.

What does all of this mean when we unscramble the thoughts that are so unhelpful within our egoic perception.

The other day, I experienced an intensity of gut-wrenching pain. I experienced dread in the pit of my stomach I hadn’t felt for a long time. Then the thought came in, “I’ve done something wrong? I’m in trouble.” And then, “How can I fix it?”

This pain came from deep within and was triggered by social media. Someone I knew unliked my page, and another unsubscribed to my mailing list. I know! How could that cause such an extreme reaction, but it did.

After much searching, I had created all sorts of scenarios and concluded that I hadn’t done anything wrong. After all, I’ve also unsubscribed, and it wasn’t personal. So where was this coming from?

And then, I felt it! It was the wounded child crying out who wanted to be loved and always felt she had done something wrong. In desperation, this child did what she could to fix it, but it was never enough.

Then, I realised I had often ‘played it safe.’ Others would differ because I have indeed been on some adventures and taken many risks. But, there was always something inside holding me back, something that kept me small, something that created an empty void, isolation, and aloneness from the rest of the world.

Connection and love were all this child wanted but stuck in her belief, she continued to find a reason to confirm that.

The adult and wise woman I am, knew this was not the case and my heart burst open in gratitude for this strong reaction which alerted me to the fact this poor child was still in pain. So, I sat with her for a while, talked to her, loved her through our tears, and something beautiful and profound happened. The tears turned into tears of joy; they sparkled and danced as my body moved with grace. Together as one, we laughed and giggled and felt whole once again.

I’ve come to realise no matter how much work we’ve done on ourselves. It is in the truth of our emotion that invokes further insight into our subconscious beliefs. Playing it safe is a metaphor, yet it is so true because the subconscious will create parts to keep us safe. At that time, it was important, but as the child grew and experienced life, those reasons were no longer valid, and instead of supporting her growth, it held her back in the past wounded empty state.

The personality ego is a funny thing for it often creates an unreal perception. We watch others often making judgements as they watch us doing the same. There is so much more depth in each of us.

BREATHE my friends, STOP AND LISTEN, FEEL your emotion, and ALLOW IT TO SPEAK TO YOU, then you may heal and create from a conscious and aware state of being.

If you need support to break-through old sabotaging beliefs. Connect with me through my website and see how I may help through one of my services.

Love you, until next week,

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Maria Lacey was born in Australia. She has travelled extensively overseas being led by visions, dreams and spiritual guidance.

Maria writes about life (the human and spiritual path), the adversity, learning, musings, and triumphs. A successful entrepreneur with over 19 years in her own business, Maria humorously states, “I am my greatest case study.”

Maria is a qualified Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Teacher, Meditation Teacher, Healer, Channel, and Speaker.

Maria is currently writing her second book about her spiritual travels overseas.

For further information about the author go to: http://www.marialacey.com.au/

Maria’s first book – https://www.amazon.com/One-Path-Many-Lights-Spiritual-ebook/dp/B00YOIOTIS