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Posts tagged ‘subconscious’

The Pain in ‘Playing it Safe’

brown and white bear plush toy

Photo by Pixabay on

Safe.. hmm ‘playing it safe’ a medley of words put together to enhance one’s own sense of safety.

What does all of this mean when we unscramble the thoughts that are so unhelpful within our egoic perception.

The other day, I experienced an intensity of gut-wrenching pain. I experienced dread in the pit of my stomach I hadn’t felt for a long time. Then the thought came in, “I’ve done something wrong? I’m in trouble.” And then, “How can I fix it?”

This pain came from deep within and was triggered by social media. Someone I knew unliked my page, and another unsubscribed to my mailing list. I know! How could that cause such an extreme reaction, but it did.

After much searching, I had created all sorts of scenarios and concluded that I hadn’t done anything wrong. After all, I’ve also unsubscribed, and it wasn’t personal. So where was this coming from?

And then, I felt it! It was the wounded child crying out who wanted to be loved and always felt she had done something wrong. In desperation, this child did what she could to fix it, but it was never enough.

Then, I realised I had often ‘played it safe.’ Others would differ because I have indeed been on some adventures and taken many risks. But, there was always something inside holding me back, something that kept me small, something that created an empty void, isolation, and aloneness from the rest of the world.

Connection and love were all this child wanted but stuck in her belief, she continued to find a reason to confirm that.

The adult and wise woman I am, knew this was not the case and my heart burst open in gratitude for this strong reaction which alerted me to the fact this poor child was still in pain. So, I sat with her for a while, talked to her, loved her through our tears, and something beautiful and profound happened. The tears turned into tears of joy; they sparkled and danced as my body moved with grace. Together as one, we laughed and giggled and felt whole once again.

I’ve come to realise no matter how much work we’ve done on ourselves. It is in the truth of our emotion that invokes further insight into our subconscious beliefs. Playing it safe is a metaphor, yet it is so true because the subconscious will create parts to keep us safe. At that time, it was important, but as the child grew and experienced life, those reasons were no longer valid, and instead of supporting her growth, it held her back in the past wounded empty state.

The personality ego is a funny thing for it often creates an unreal perception. We watch others often making judgements as they watch us doing the same. There is so much more depth in each of us.

BREATHE my friends, STOP AND LISTEN, FEEL your emotion, and ALLOW IT TO SPEAK TO YOU, then you may heal and create from a conscious and aware state of being.

If you need support to break-through old sabotaging beliefs. Connect with me through my website and see how I may help through one of my services.

Love you, until next week,


Maria Lacey was born in Australia. She has travelled extensively overseas being led by visions, dreams and spiritual guidance.

Maria writes about life (the human and spiritual path), the adversity, learning, musings, and triumphs. A successful entrepreneur with over 19 years in her own business, Maria humorously states, “I am my greatest case study.”

Maria is a qualified Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Teacher, Meditation Teacher, Healer, Channel, and Speaker.

Maria is currently writing her second book about her spiritual travels overseas.

For further information about the author go to:

Maria’s first book –




Following a spiritual path – oh shit I’m human too …

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I had finished my book One Path, Many Lights and sent it off to the publisher in preparation for printing. As I sat in my chair in my family room preparing to meditate. My attention was drawn to the energy lifting from the ground and moving up towards the ceiling. I watched intently as many white translucent clouds within the room moved upwards with ease. A thought came, and I recognised that it was my own energy moving out of my home here in Bendigo. It was time to move!

Over the next couple of weeks I organised my book launches and came to Mt Eliza to research where I would live on the Mornington Peninsula. I was happy and everything was flowing and life felt in sync. Within three days I found a place to live. Then on the 26th June I had my book launch at the Conservatory Café at Wyreena Community Art Centre in Croydon, and what a humbling night filled with so much love and support. I then travelled back home to Bendigo for my final free community meditation class and book signing on the 7th July, another evening filled with love, laughter and friendship.

On the 15th July I packed up my home and everything I owned and as the truck drove away to the holding yard for the night. I jumped in my car and drove the two hour journey to my new home in Mt Eliza, and camped out for the night in preparation for the removalist coming at 8am the next morning.

Bright and early the next morning, I was delighted and surprised to answer the front door because my friend Maria Hill was there to help me unpack. In fact, she came an hour earlier than we discussed. I can honestly say Maria on that day was my Earth Angel. Within ten minutes of her arrival I’d just informed the neighbours of the removalist van arriving, walked down my neighbour’s stairs, along her walkway to see the young men from the removalist company walking towards me. I waved, not realising there was a side gutter on the walkway, my left foot fell into it, I heard a loud pop and I was down on the ground before I had an opportunity to take my next breath.

The pain was intense, I went into shock, my whole body shaking, clammy and cold, and I started to wheeze finding it difficult to catch my breath. I could see myself because I was out of my body, spiralling. When I connected to my physical body I felt nauseous and faint. I could hear myself talking and reassuring me that I would be okay. I focused really hard and as I took off my shoe and saw my ankle, I started to spin again, this time trying not to faint. Not long later I was taken to hospital in an ambulance. You see, I broke my left ankle and ruptured two of my ligaments, OUCH!!

Maria was left to deal with the removalist, Telstra and a plumber, and what a mighty job she did. At the time I didn’t realise it, but everything was still in flow and in sync, it had to be, she had come early and unexpected. Thank you with all of my heart Maria for your courage, laughter (you know what I mean) and organisation.

In shock for several days, those close to me rallied to unpack my home to ensure I was comfortable. I was meant to fly to the USA for a Sound Therapy course a week later and had to cancel. Financially it could have been disastrous, but I have since received all monies back from the course and accommodation less a fee of $400 for cancelling my airfares. Even that has been tempered with the return in $US because I gained most of the loss back.

During this past six weeks, I felt incredibly supported by my friends who are my family. There have been those who have visited, unpacked, cooked, shopped and taken me on an outing or two.  There have also been many who have phoned, emailed and messaged with their kind and loving support and that has nourished my spirit. Thank you to everyone.

I’m healing well, and you may wonder, what was that all about? I know I did. Many in spiritual circles will have their own thoughts and ideas.  Some have stated I had to slow down and nurture myself, and others have stated it was the wrong time to go to the USA. What I do know is the second book has commenced a little earlier than expected, and more healing and understanding of old patterns that emerged, have now been seen for what they truly are – old patterns!

I’ve been exhausted, sobbed, felt sadness and released. There was no excuse to hide or ignore, and know where to run (pardon the pun). My authentic-self urged me to listen to my soul, my heart, and to experience and take action, and to break the shackles that I had so cleverly created at a time they were needed – but no more. Those old patterns were not in my conscious thoughts, they were deep in the subconscious steering the way. The shoulds all fear based of course. I should do this, I should do that. Then there was the realisation of the emotional garbage that had accumulated, and was buried deep within the subconscious. I was not at the wheel, they were. It was time to claim the driver’s seat, be fearless and more present in my life and clean the emotional debris hidden within, and open to love in its purest form.

These past few months and the recent super moon have been such an opportunity for each of us to grow and evolve. As part of that evolvement we are being called to action, there is nowhere to hide. We can try to ignore, but everything is being unearthed for our greater good and that of our planet.

As a light worker, I have a responsibility to grow and evolve so that I may assist others not just by words on a page, but by example. As I grow, I become more peaceful, and my light becomes brighter and energetically it supports our Mother Earth and those that I meet along my path. Yes, I’m also human and flawed, and that is why I’m sharing my story, in the hope that it may inspire and support you on your journey. The spiritual path can be a lonely one, but I cannot do this alone as a human being. Many lights shining together create an enormous glow, and the web of light lifts the spirit of man/woman, all sentient beings and our Mother Earth.

Today, my energy has returned along with creativity and clarity. My meditations are more insightful and I’m happy and accepting of the path that is unfolding. I feel aligned with Mother Earth, connected to God and stronger in my physical and emotional bodies. My heart is full to overflowing with love, I close my eyes and send out a stream in all directions. Open to receive for all is flowing to support you my friends – we can do this together.

My first book commenced with a suspected aneurism in my carotid artery, now my second with a broken ankle. Each book has been divinely guided, and I have stated to the Universe that I do not wish to commence my third book with an unexpected health or emotional trauma – let’s trust all of my consciousness is listening.

Until next time,


Copyright © Maria Lacey