I’m slowing down.
Yes, I am, and I’m welcoming it.
I’m sitting at my local café about to enjoy my breakfast and write my blog.
Whilst driving here, I could feel a tingle of anticipation in my belly, an excitement shining through. It’s unusual for me to have a Wednesday without clients, but the universe has made it so, and I feel incredibly at peace with it.
Something special is happening, and it’s hard to express in words. So, let me give you some background.
All my life, I have lived in survival mode. Out on my own at the age of fifteen, scrambling to make ends meet as I worked to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly.
Then, when my marriage ended in my early thirties. I became a sole parent with two beautiful children and the only breadwinner with debt over my head.
I was consistently worried about needing more income to meet our needs.
In fact, I remember my son telling me in his early 20’s that we had lived in poverty, which I have to say shocked me to the core because I always felt we had what we needed, and we were rich in love, family, and friendships. Yet, to my son, it wasn’t enough through his eyes.
To me, it was everything, but if I’m honest, I had subconscious beliefs about lack of money and survival, and it undermined my happiness and moved me to push and come from a place of fear.
With the subconscious beliefs in charge and the multiple traumas of abuse, I had an undercurrent of anxiety rumbling within. I liken it to a deer in headlights, either frightened and paralysed or poised, ready to run. Unfortunately, it had become my usual way of being.
Over the years, I have worked diligently on healing the trauma, challenging those beliefs, sitting with the discomfort in my body, and listening. After all, my thoughts made my body reactive, and my body had much wisdom to share with me to help me heal.
That excitement I feel right now is that I’m not pushing and acting from a place of survival.
That part of my subconscious has become a faint whisper, and my body’s messages are much louder. The subconscious driver no longer has the power, and my body has become calmer, peaceful, and receptive to receive, and my consciousness has a greater awareness.
How wonderful! I have often stated in my writings that we are all a work in progress, and I am my greatest case study. Yet, I have never professed to know it all and be all together, laughing, because I don’t believe anyone on this planet has it all sorted.
Life is a journey, a journey of discovery. We are imperfect in many ways, but the love and excitement in my heart and body today tell me that my imperfections are but a perception.
Our past conditioning and traumas will always be there, for they are a part of our history.
Acceptance and moving them lovingly to where they belong, in the past, has been my greatest gift to me.
We are incredible human beings, and I know our world has been challenging these past few years. We’ve had to deal with much change and uncertainty in our world, along with the higher cost of living, which has weighed heavily on many of us.
Understandably, there are heightened stressors on our communities and each of us as individuals.
I want to share this is a cycle; we have all been here in some form or another and survived!
We will survive again, beautiful soul, trust, have faith and let hope be your driver, not fear.
Our worldview is much lighter, brighter, and abundant in the energy of trust, faith, and hope. Then, the universe will open to see us, and everything will fall into alignment to support our journey.
Today, I feel thankful, and with gratitude, my heart is open and gently and lovingly illuminating as I take slower and more considered steps, allowing myself to listen intently to how I feel and move with the flow.
And amazingly, I’m more productive, balanced, and aligned with my heart’s desires in all areas of my life.
As a footnote, when I had my near-death experience in Bali in 2016, my soul returned with the words, “How may I serve?” I can honestly say with all my being that I now pause to listen to the answer, and in return, miraculous signs come and show me the best way I can serve my community and look after myself.
When in the busyness of life, we can miss those signs, ignore our feelings, and fall back into old patterning, which may not serve us!
We are born with free will and, therefore, can choose. So, who do you want to be in the driver’s seat?
Until next time, love you, Maria x
Please reach out if you need support and guidance. As a registered counsellor, spiritual mentor, and healer, you can confidently book an appointment knowing you have someone with experience and compassion who will listen and guide you.