First Published in Sibyl Magazine November 2018
There are events in our life that transpire to open us to deep and soulful healing, and this was one of them.
Within my heart of hearts, I’d wished for that day to come, and it did. I was meeting with someone I’d loved all their life and had been estranged from for some years. We met for only a short hour, but then, all came crashing down, and my heart cracked open leaving a huge crevice.
Initially, the hurt and pain were intense. So much so, in glimpses, I’d felt helpless and without hope. The event wasn’t the cause it was the catalyst that triggered multiple traumas I’d endured and had shelved, which flooded into my consciousness. The overwhelming emotion felt stuck. I could feel the tidal wave within, but I’d gone numb, and in shock, my mind froze, until, I chose consciously to release and allow the healing to begin.
That was a pivotal moment, and enlightening choice for it generated an outpouring of love and gratitude for that person because she was the ONE. The messenger, the gift.
It was time to set myself free, and I gave myself permission to TRULY heal those traumas. Several months later my relationship with that person opened like a lotus with such purity and renewal, and a new beginning was now possible.
Things had changed because I’d changed. Patterns had altered and were still in their adjustment stage. Supportive and loving beliefs had embedded within my consciousness, and the subconscious limiting beliefs and sabotaging habits had been cleared and re-set.
Through a profound awareness, I witnessed consciously my actions, thoughts and movement moment by moment, and day by day. I sensed my healing and the newness forming, but I noticed unconscious patterns and how quickly I reverted to the previous default behaviour. Yes, just like our computer settings we do have subconscious defaults.
In those moments I stopped midstream and felt within, and my realisations came quickly and with acknowledgement and understanding. I didn’t berate myself, in fact, I congratulated myself for the recognition and then felt empowered to choose between the old way of being and the new and more conscious way.
The old way, had me moving through life in survival mode. It was understandable because the innocence of the child was taken so young through physical abuse, manipulation and narcissism. The realisation was that even though, she was an intelligent, compassionate child of the stars she had never felt good enough and worthy, which filtered into her adult life. It undermined her growth and happiness with busyness, doing and should.
The new conscious way, I felt empowered, good enough, and worthy. It motivated me to thrive and to create through love, SELF-LOVE.
Simplicity, gratitude and a soft focus are my way forward. Each movement, I ask, “Is this loving me?” For I now walk with purpose upon this earth with a renewed passion to restore hope into the hearts of many. Including mine.
Until next week,
Maria Lacey was born in Australia and has travelled extensively overseas being led by visions, dreams and spiritual guidance.
The author of a personal and spiritual memoir, One Path, Many Lights. Maria writes about life (the human and spiritual path), the adversity, learning, musings, and triumphs.
A successful entrepreneur with over 19 years in her own business, Maria humorously states, “I am my greatest case study.” Maria is a qualified Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Teacher, Meditation Teacher, Sound Healer, Channel, Author and Speaker.
Maria feels passionate about restoring hope into the hearts of many.
For further information about the author go to: http://www.marialacey.com.au/
Maria’s first book – https://www.amazon.com/One-Path-Many-Lights-Spiritual-ebook/dp/B00YOIOTIS